It is great ! You are going to go to ireland and Scotland and Sweden.. Lucky you ! Being young is good. You could use all of experience you get. Just enjoy !  If you saw my entry I posted the video " Kiki's delivery " they took a place some where in Sweden for it. It is originally from Japanese author's work though.

I have no word to your Junior. Sorry  

i will cross my fingers to Mike also. I didn't know he had been Iraq and had to go back there again.

Your junior's being sprited away seemed like made your relationship with Nick got better at that time . I hope things will be going to what you want it to be.

Maybe Junior wants to have something goody. If possible you just put it outside of your house.. Maybe it is not good idea. Because you seemed to have some wild animals around there. I have just heard cats are not the animal you can figure out when they come back. Sometimes it is when you sleep.

I am glad everything with Nick has been well.

I wouldn't say I know more than you....obviously I'm missing something because it hasn't worked this far !!!   

I wish I could poop ...

Hey -

You got a great deal with those shirts! I want/need a lot more clothing, I never update my wardrobe and have suddenly realised that everything I own has become faded and tatty without me realising. I overwash my clothes as well, so it happens quicker.

I'm just on the lookout for deals like you got with your shirts. I don't like obvious clothing, just neat, plain stuff.

Sorry your stomach is upset, it's a terrible feeling.

Ash

I hope you have a good poop..

I hope you will feel get better soon !

You like casual outfits.. As long as I can remember. Actually me,too. When summer get furious I feel like buying Asian clothes for summer. They are quite good to wear in summer here. Even though it is the same cotton as Japanese clothes I wear in summer. A lot thinner than that. Wind must be easy to go through. I lately bought one.

I feel the same as you about Junior. I hope someone keep him inside of her or his house.

Have a nice day !

Here in Osaka it is like we live in hot country right now. The sound of warm make me feel nostalgic to the day when I was small. I think we had a good summer back then. Not so hot.. Yes, cicada is kind of big but I don't know it can be called beetle or not. It is not having a hard armor then.

Junior was in your dream.. I hope he will come again in your real life.

I hope you go to your therapist and not put it off altogether. If you don't feel like talking about your Mom then don't. Maybe another time you will feel like it.

Junior hopefully comes back home.

A couple years back when I was in a horrible place, just living in one room with all my animals I did something very stupid. I considered giving one of my dogs to a woman with strict instructions not to put her outside and if she ever wanted to give her away to please bring her back to me. I cried hard after she left and wanted to get her back. I also was assured that she was a very good friend of the people I was staying with.

The stupid woman tied my indoor dog (My poodle named Shatzi) outside on a rope and Shatzi chewed her way out and took off. I tried to get a hold of the woman and nobody would tell me a thing about this person. I wanted to put up fliers in Spanish (because she was Mexican) in her neighborhood to only be told they didn't know where she lived. I drove around a neighborhood that someone said she "might" live in and did put up fliers, I also went to the pound with no success. I am devastated to this day and could cry every time I think about her. I pray she didn't suffer and some family is loving her now but doubt it. I hate myself and wish I hadn't felt like I had no option at the time and did what I did. People are always telling me why I don't put this dog down or get rid of that one. I will never do anything like that again! People can kiss my butt for telling me or trying to pressure me in to giving up even one of my animals again.

Hey -

I'm very sorry. My cat is 14 this year, and a year or so after I moved here, he would disappear for weeks at a time. I'd grieve, and come to terms with his death, and then he would reappear the next night. It was really hard to cope with. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

He's been gone about 6 weeks now, and I am sad. At the same time, I am trying to realise that he's quite old, and being the strange cat he is, he would go away to die, rather than die at my house. At the same time, I'm clining to hope that he'll turn up again....

I sure hope your cat comes home safe and well. Sometimes people don't realise just how important pets can be. And I'm sure Nick didn't mean it to be a selfish act, he would not have known that Junior would disappear and that you'd be so upset.

Keep me posted.

Ash

awwww i love cats

i hope he comes back soon

Who is the picture of?

If that is Nick, oh my God he is cute. No wonder you're crazy for him..

The general unhappiness is probably spilling over into the rest of your life. I would suggest counseling but I guess you have planned that already.

Nick may not be into you like you are with him, that's o.k. Maybe feeling depressed and shlumpy is not that attractive. Most guys especially if they are young men want confident happy women that are more independent. They are very judgemental. They have certain images on what the ultimate woman is like. They get this from television, porn movies and their friends. He will either grow out of it or won't but one thing is you can't stress about it. I would stop worrying about him and focus on you. Making yourself happy will make you more attractive to him. I guess you already know this.

I know you love him with everything you got.

Losing your parent and having another all messed up......well we all get sh*t in our lives we just learn to go beyond it and get on with our lives.

Someone said once we all have sad stories and it's true. I stopped feeling sorry for myself at that moment. Children get raped (My man) and children are severely abused (Me). Life goes on just struggle through, don't dwell. That just drags you down.

I love all of pictures you posted here. They are beautiful ! I would like feeling to walk such a road with a lot of green.

I am wondering those produts you bought it expensive ? Sounds nice though.

A bit of fireworks for yourself huh? Wtg girl.
Happy 4th sweetie!
~Mystic

[MysticTears]

i'm just not too big on emo....

i'm too happy right now to be emo.

well, not right this moment, but still, my life's too good to be all emoified..

P:

I didn't know that doing certain things caused eczema to break out.

Also what are "Snobby Joes?" Your healthy eating habits always makes me want to try some of the things you write about.

Does he contribute any money towards the house? Maybe it is a free ride for him.

Also there is always one person in a two person relationship that does most of the house work and it is usually the woman. We just like to have a nice nest

Hey -

' I know he wants to do nothing on his days off, but he does nothing on the days that he works also, and I have to do something EVERY day.'

Matt is exactly the same. Even when I say I'm doing 'nothing ALL day'... I still do laundry, still neaten up, still put sh*t away. When Matt does nothing all day, he sits at this computer. For 8 or 9 hours.

f***ing dickheads.

Ash

You really shouldn't feel guilty in regards to your father.  If they really aren't his friends, than they're using him.  You're "protecting" your father from these people, perhaps.  But if he's giving away money to anyone and everyone, you should be first in line.

i appreciate the comment

girl i feel ya too... matter of fact i'll add u to my favs

Hey -

I just read your last entry. I hope you're feeling better. Hopefully it was just an unusually heavy period, sickness and diarrhea are big symptoms of that, which I'm sure you already know.

I'm sorry you don't have a better relationship with your Dad. Don't beat yourself up though, it's a two way street.

Ash

I don't have to work until later and thought I would get caught up on my favorites. Your pics. make you look very sweet. Animals are cute also.

Here in Arizona it is in the hundreds already. 103 and 102, hot.

I think you might be suffering with depression. Going to the Doc. for this doesn't mean you are crazy. You are handling quite a lot.

The kayak idea is great defiantly go for it. You are trying to find some happiness and peace in your life. I have always wanted to buy one myself.

Men are just what they are... a pain, but they can also make our whole lives full. I wouldn't want to be without mine. I have decided that you really have to just find your limit on what you can deal with with each one. Some make you pull out your hair and some you can stand. I can stand mine so I guess I will keep him.

Hey -

I feel the same way with Matt. He gets to sit at home and watch tv and play the Wii while I am at work. He goes out clubbing with his friends and wastes his money while I watch every penny so that I can save money. I never get  a day off because there is always study, always chores, always maintenance on my house etc etc.

It's very easy to become resentful when you feel like you are doing the best to prepare for a successful future, and all he cares about is having fun now. Who will have to carry them when the future arrives and they're flat broke and uneducated?

I don't have the answer. But I definately understand how you feel.

Ash

Actually I like Cheronicles of Narnia,too. I only have read the first one though. I watched its movie several years ago with my 2 nieces. It was so much fun !

I think you should be able to go crazy money wise at least twice a year. You deserve more fun...I can tell you are not truly happy.

I think you work very hard for the things you know you deserve, I won't comment on your man because you get very defensive and I get that you really love him, so I will refrain.

I used to work alongside nurses and I never found one that was ever very happy. It is a thankless job. I know alot of people found their work more tolerable when they began working for Hospice. It pays well and you are not nearly as stressed. Plus if you work for a company and you go house to house to help a few people I think it pays pretty good. Plus your time is your own.

thank you for commenting on my page i wrote a new entry and included you in it so i hope you read....have a nice day

hopfully you're feeling better.

best wishes...

Hey -
What did you eat? Something you don't normally eat?

I hope you feel better soon, though I'm sure your boss won't begrudge you the night off - you work constantly!

Ash

Maybe Marilyn is letting you in because she wants to try and help you become more like her, the caring and being gentile stuff i mean.

haven't talked to you in a while.  my house is going swell,  i moved in april 20th.  i like the place and the lake is fantastic so far.  done some remodeling on the inside and my roomate should be coming in in about 2 weeks.  should be a good time.  and i finally found one of those "good" girls that makes me forget about all the bad in the world.  even you might like her lol.

You and Dave can be good friends each other. haha

I thought you have so many cakes in the USA .. No.. ?

I have heard from some Japanese who have been to in the USA saying they were suprised to see the volume of food on the plates there. They couldn't believe it was only for one person..

Awww really...you think that this could be a good thing??? I needed that, thank you so much!

I am sooo jealous of this entry.  A house to take care of, to take of the yard and buy plants, create a garden with someone who wants to.  Lol, maybe i am approaching this backwards!!

Hey -

It's ok. You're entitled to be offended. I had a feeling you might have been, because I know your views on eating meat. It wasn't my intention, though.

I'd love to have a vegetable garden, but I'm a bit too stupid, I'd probably use the wrong bug sprays and end up poisoning myself. I'm thinking of getting a book on it, and planning some different vegetables for the seasons.

Ash

Do you watch Grey's Anatomy?  I do...I love it !!!  I'm addicted to it.  With my busy schedule, I don't have much time to sit down and actually watch TV but I Tivo "Grey's Anatomy" and "House".  Anyway...Greys anatomy has a website where the writers blog about the episodes and the characters...you get to read the psychology behind it.  Occasionally, when I think about it, I'll go there and read what they have to say.  The blog for the episode b4 this last one was about "going crazy".  I read it today.  I took a couple of quotes out of it that I thought were pretty cool.  I love deep, thoughtful, heart felt quotes...and I love this one.  When I read your statement about taking a leave of absent for reasons of insanity, it came to mind. 

“Don’t wonder why people go crazy.  Wonder why they don’t.  In the face of all we can lose in a day, in an instant, wonder what the hell it is that makes us hold it together.”  I guess my point is, if you feel like you’re crazy, you’re in good company.  Because, take a look a around.  Why would sanity make sense?

 Girl...you really are among the majority here.  Now, take a break and go get you something to eat !!!    I hope you get some extra time off this weekend.  If you do...I sure hope you get some rest.  Take care !!!

[pamcakes]

Don't get this the wrong way, kid, but jeez...willing to wish death for 50k...very sad.

Better don't read my entry or will really depress you...

Buffalo Wild Wings is a chain sports bar/resturant place.

I ended up not going out tonight, as I remembered I have an early appointment at my eye place tomorrow, and we usually don't leave until closing time, and it's like an hour or so back home. i'll probably end up doing something this weekend at least...

Sounds like we both need to get out and have fun...

Thanks for stopping by and thanks for the vote of confidence in my ability to be open minded...  Not sure I would always agree...you see...I know me on the inside...

I stopped by and looked at your profile too...You were born the year I graduated from High School !!!  sheeesh...I'm old.  :) 

I can't wait to read you and learn more about you too. 

Hey -

Yeah me too. Five years sounds good. But I'll be 28 by then, and I want to have my children at a younger age. I'd rather be having my second child at 28. Only time will tell, I suppose.

Ash

Hey -

I just got your note about the biological clock!

I think I feel the same as you do. I want one, WANT one. Want to dedicate my life to a child. But at the same time I'm afraid. For me I'm scared to willingly give the rest of my life, my time, my sleep, the food out of my mouth to this other being... I don't think I'm ready.

Then add the other circumstances like my potentially fatal relationship, my financial situation, and lack of mental stability... And it seems the cons are outweighing the pros at the moment, which I find sad.

Ash

Hey -

I know what you mean about the housework. But it's not that easy. I don't WANT to live in filth! Tripping over things, and smelling unwashed dishes...

As my friend said to me the other night, 'It's ok. I get it. You ARE superwoman. But just stop it now, someone else can help you out if you just them'.

Ash

Thanks for my comment. It will help me. :)

I am sorry to here about your Grandma.

I understand your feelings toured smokers.My mom smokes and I don't like it,and I think she is crazy..

Anyways

Take care.

And thanks.

Lauren.

apologies as well to you ...bad day for me and slightly over sensitive ...i am a night shifter too ...plus i have just found out you can get a game on wii called wii fit ..i will be aiming for that!!!

sorry

Hey -

Yeah I wasn't sure if people would be able to see the links. I'll do a big upload onto photobucket over the weekend and do a big picture entry. I just don't use myspace anymore, only to spy on my sister in law.

I would prefer to be married when I fall pregnant, also. But, like you, I am in two minds about it and would adore the idea of falling pregnant and having a child now.

Ash

its kinda funny how we both usually pack days in advance...yet this time we both decided to pack at the very last minute...

hopefully your cat is fine and its nothing major. im worried about leaving my fish with no one to take care of them for 3 days (all my friends live way out of the way o come here for a few mintues once a day).

Hello, thanks for writing.

"Why do people spend so much time writing about God?" Because we can.

"The moon actually exists, or is at least visable and true." You are very right. But you know what? Once a month it doesn't reflect any light at all and we can't see it but it is still there. Thus, just because a thing can't be seen doesn't mean that it doesn't exist. Some people might not like to believe in unseen things but that doesn't make them unreal.

"And no, the light comes only from the sun, not God, or Jesus." Well that's a little close minded. Not all light on earth comes from the sun. Look at lightning, or all of the bioluminescent life forms at the bottom of the ocean, or fire? Light can come from many sources. You do not believe in the light of God simply because you have not seen it. That doesn't make it any less real.

Just try and keep your options open. The world is not as small as you think.

Spiritsfire

Yea for vacation! 

Now my question, who took that photo if it was just the two fo you??!!

You can always apply for it, and if you get the call, then make the desicion. It could always be a way to get more oout of your job now if they knew you were thinking of leaving also!